måndag 30 januari 2012

Impossible to use a mobile phone...

Impossible to use a mobile phone and scroll down thé text when thé first form ends, thats a pity Blogger. You should get a scroll function at thé right side even in thé mobile version, or if I have. Something wrong at my phone.//S

Stefan, due to this issue, I could not finalize thé last message before this one, so what I wanted to add was a suitable Song for you...'I have been everywhere'., Dont you Think it is a Lovely piece of Music? Personally I love thé title....

Hugs my. Best friend
Sivan (original) :)))))))

Stefan, I am so happy that you...

....are showing Me every day how a real man Will be, act and behave. You have been helping Me forward, you have been a support to Me all thé time, you have loved Me even though I never had these feelings for you, unfortunately. You are my best friend, there are so many men in this world just living on a bad childhood, raised bad from their mother (mostly). They just have to show others all thé time WHO they are and how BIG they are, often in front of their friends. All knows, we healthy Ones, that these men are feeling themselves so bad inside, and I am really sad many Times when I see it, sometimes I laugh at their way of acting because it seems comic for thé moment.

When you are coming to thé age of 40 or 50 there are so many other values in life, and you just look down on these childish men, and sigh. One want to take them Into thé body and hug them, Tell them, now...stop fight, stop showing thé world that you are a boss and King, you are enough as you are. But, when they dont see it themselves dear Stefan, what can one Do??? I got an email this day I have been sent before, I suspect they are sending them twice to make it look as if it happened now, and not before, Its easy for Me to prove when I joined my Internet sites, but...sigh....they Will probably try anyway...I dont know how many files we have, proving that dear Stefan, so...to try to Change when I added thé sites Will just get them a possible Police report. .

To try to write my handwritten Book, steal it and put it online Will not work either...as you know we talked about to add 'hidden

lördag 28 januari 2012

My https site is probably hacked

Folks, this is thé original site of Sivans blog, I cant get https Contact from google nor from thé blog here. There is something wrong with a certificate, they say. It can be a google problem as they are updating their security now, but lets see when I get online with my ordinary Connection or from a computer. Can be that some are using my name and connect Me Only to http, and are taking over thé secure connections. I am really tired.

Sivan

hacked phone. ips and computer, what a pleasure to try to stop the truth

Truth hurts....and thé fact that he wont succeed with his issues around stealing
my ID. There is sorta 'I am controlling you and your life and I am not able to live if I cant shiw you finally that I am a King of thé hackers net' Ok, I am no technician and can never compare myself with such men, but for SURE, I Will never give up thé time perception, and what actually happened in 2010, thé promises and things they gave.

They are now repeating things happening in 2010, trying to make Me Believe that what was then is now, getting themselves false proofs, as they are arranging now, making those looking as if it was then. To stop this I am writing both online and in my hand written diary, it Will come online later. People are running here trying to make Me Believe it is 2010, but a lot of things are missing, all thé Lovely original Songs my love gave Me, as I listened to 24/7, can never make Me Believe wrong.

I always had thé radio on, so how can I forget thé originals....and how love, can I forget YOU. Never. No matter in what is happening, I never leave you P.A. I SAID ALWAYS, AND I MEANT IT, IT WAS OUR PROMISE.

I suspect I have an x man who's is haunting Me, trying to tire Me out by controlling my whole life, but...he dont know Me. Thé more he does, thé more I fight back, and thé more I Will dislike him. NO ONE can Force or convert Me Into love!!!!!!! Its disgusting. A maniacs work, to just even try with Me.....

P.A, I love you, with Celine Dion must be my Song to you this night...NEVER Think I Will forget you and never Think they Will steal my ID. I am more alive than ever. (To original P.A.B, old onefm Channel) your my King, and I wait for you no matter in what thé others have mixed up in thé form of false things they probably Will publish soon......all is not Always what it looks like...but if I Will trust thé rumors, ok, I welcome thé things they have to show, I know WHO I have been thinking of all nights.....so its not important what they come up with. Let them blacklist Me. I have nothing to fear, as you are thé one WHO has been on my mind at nights, at Days, and I have prayed. Kisses to you, and greetings to my fans,

Sivan

fredag 27 januari 2012

Blogging from thé mobile for thé first time ;))))

Hi there all
I am still connected to a 2G connetion even though I have a 3G card.
Does not feel so good, as something must be very wrong.
I am hacked I Believe. When it comes to my love, P.A, I still miss
him so much, I am longing for meeting him IRL. Regarding thé suspicions
ID theft,

I have sent my ID cards, passports for Me and thé kids to thé
responsible courthouse. Now, my Believe is that I Will get my ID back.
Its a shame to use others id:s, and as I obviously are connected to Another
IP than usual, both on thé phone and computer, its probably a hacking attempt.

Well, well, suppose this is a thing for thé local Police to investigate. Yesteray I was at a stor, called Time, here in Östersund, and they played a Song on thé radio, somerthing about shame, I related to that one because I. Went back in time to 2010, when some People did not Believe in Me, they claimed I never listened at all, I did, but I never had thé practical opportunities to Do thé things I was told....so its easy to (seing it in general now, and relating to thé Song where it was a shame that thé one never listened) blame others, without taking thé details in why, Into thé desicions. But, as with all other things, one must go on, leave things behind, try to focus more on oneself and how one are doing, than listen to crap and lies :) Wishing all my fans and People a great. Day..../Sivan

torsdag 26 januari 2012

IP changes....

Folks, there is no end..."they" are waiting for all these blogs from me now, to make me write a lot, and a lot, and even more (as the connection really works today!!! :-), after that they will probably show the false "recordings/checkings" they have mixed up to their specific story. I am waiting :-))))) If it is good done, I will take it to the blog later...:-)

All the time at my operator 3, I have had IP addresses beginning with 95, 78, or 109...tonight it is suddenly beginning with 94...hahaha. I am quite sure someone else have taken over the other one, hacked or not, but of course I dont know. Its their sport, these people, to change everything right after I have written about it. Just told it because it is comic.

After when they have finished their job, I will gladly ask my friend Stefan for some assistance...:-)
Stefan, I love you my friend...I love, love, love you as my friend. =))))))
There is something about you making me SMILE so much so i can get pain in my cheaks..its your humor..I suppose you are in the same level of humor as these people I have around. :-) Or even worse...haha.

What would life be without a laugh, when all is black, and have been black for years? What would one do without that smile. When you get used, you dont have that much pain. So Stefan, looking forward of coming in your hands again my best friend. Just I am praying it will be this time. We have tried many times.

Would not surprise me, if some are imtitating all my blogs too...hahaha. To surround me, to catch me in to change my time perception. All these suspicions are coming from the time at facebook, which really have been a weird time of 2½ year. It has been hard to follow and take all these bad words delivered. So I am glad Stefan, that you all have followed all this in real time, because out there some are still underlying accusing me for being sick in my head. I am not, and I will prove it. I am humoristic, I can be mad as few over unfair things sometimes, I can cry as few, so I am following the same line as I have done all the time in the blog, and in my personal handwritten blog, which will come online later...THAT will be a surprise for those who is underlying talking about voice recognitions and voice directions. Would not surprice me if they have voice directed me. Someone told me...shut up, otherwise they will take you to hospital and give you medicals. Why would I be silent, how can they hear me legally if I talk in my apartment, and the sound is coming from there...? :-)....

Last, I believe I have an x-man thinking that if he blackmail me, and make my name black so that no one loves me anymore, he thinks he will have me in his hands...and I say to you, smile, when you heart is aching, smile...and goodbye from me forever.

Goodnight folks...;-)
Sivan

There is a maniac on the loose, for sure

Hi again fans and folks
Felt I had to write about an old storie (as all know I am always serve up things from my privacy, as much of what is happening to me, is absurd..) Some people just cant leave us alone

Many years ago, one of my daughters had an account in a dangerous place, a community, called Lunarstorm. Dirty lecherous men haunted young girls, so I told my daughter and the admin to unregister her from there. She had contact with a psycho sick man, he sent her information like if he talked to an adult woman, about his psychological problems, his sex fantasies, his bad life, which tablets he ate e t c. He was from the south if I dont remember it wrong.

After a while, he started to send her cards on the post, and haunted her from apartment to apartment we moved to, so see how it works on the web. I can only say to that man (as I suspect, and not only suspect that he is around again...) to leave my family intact! Its just an information...so that he get the chance to take that desicion to leave my family alone. I give him this chance...again.

Well, see how it can be, when you have sick people around...

I really hope he will understand what is best for him, to leave my other kids alone...

A great evening to all...=)
Sivan

A cold day in Östersund in many ways....

Brrrr....took myself a walk today in a cold Östersund, visited the insurance company, which helps people with a LOW income to pay their rent. I am so confused. During 6 years of making music on the web with good charts, I havent reached a singel penny. Soo, I suppose it is just to wait..because right now I have to take a brake int he music production of reasons I will reveal very soon.

I took my walk, as I love, and as I have done the last months to loose weight. I have lost 16 -17 kg since September 2010. I am 46 years, and have to think of my health. Checked my blood pressure last night, and it was 115/75, blood sugar also yesterday after having been eating a lot of things containing sugar, after 40 minutes it was down on 6.2, not bad! Its the walks.

Well, back to the insurance, as my daughter has moved out I am unwilling living in a big apartment and it is hard to move in here, they will not pay out anything at all right now (as of todays date) until they have taken a desicion what kinda help I will get...so sigh...sigh...it only continues...the bad.

I bought some cocacola and cigs, and when I was about to leave the store they played a song on the radio, "goodbye" (farväl, in swedish). It was a sad song, at the same time a helicopter surrounded me from above, I heard it. People were walking like crazies on the street, but I took my things and went home again to write in my log book.

About the ID theft, I have contacted the police via email, and probably some are using my IP:s, but I dont want to say anything for sure, yet.

I will start my fight back to space now, and I will ASSURE you all that I am not after to HIT any companies, or even fight, I just want to have my rights back. To my music, to my life, to my personality.

Its not hard to understand why some people possibly have been trying in realtime to record/check me, and control me, its easy to see that they have mixed up different periods in time, to make it look like if it all have happened at the same time. Thats my theory. As I have some memory loss problems I have a hard time to say exactly when things has happened, its probably mainly about hormone problems, but there are more things I cant write about yet. I have to gain and save proofs, in a secure way first, but be sure you all will probably see people present me as a liar, as I suspect they have been recorded me in some way. Just look at the old address (if it is still left, smile...)sivansverige.logspot.com. Thats only ONE of all imitations of my life, there you could read before about an angel who would go to prison.

Anyway, I really hope people will take their smart minds, and get to understand that i am not after anything at all than my ID, and of course my musical rights to my songs. There are so many ways to show that you own things, and I wont give it up...and please remember, I have NEVER entered a studio. I have ONLY made digitally made songs on the computer, after that sent it to the net, most of them are registered with STIM..
I hope all of you are having a great day, and..last...yet I havent died, it is all about the assumptions. =) I was promised something in facebook 2010, and I am so sorry but I can not love on order.

I love my P.A, until the day he calls me and tells me that he does not want to talk to me, or have any contact at all.

Much love to all,
Sivan

måndag 23 januari 2012

ID stöld!!!

Hi there folks

Today I have experienced something in my 46 years old life, someone or some are using my ID. I changed from windows 7, to linux Live cd yesterday night, because it is more easy to handle the connections. This morning I saw, I am connected to Swedish COMHEM!!!!! I have never had that operator, and I am surfing on that operator right now!!! Have contacted them via a form email today, I look serious on this matter. But, I have my passorts, my kids passports, all the id papers I need here at home. Will just fix this issues, and I will be back.

Tactical some hackers have used my ID, they have started with manipulating my phones, connected me to comhem to make it look like if I am using that connection, and that I have ordered it. Today I have put a stop at my old operator (3) when it comes to the voice speeches, my ordinary phone. I have cancelled my old phonenumber and it cant be used from today January 23-2012. The SIM is locked. I have checked the bill and it seems to be normal as of today.

Of course folks, I am about to keep my ID, so I locked the new phone I have from computer traffic and it seems to work properly now so I can use it to at least call. In time I will change all accounts, the numbers, the contact details and I will be back here in the blog. In facebook, I have not been in a long long time. Would not surprise me if they have used that too. I can also see, that mz contacts is changed in Google plus, some record companies (except one I added myself) was added. So, my suspicions that some are trying to even steal my music, seems to be true. They are probably just waiting to use my name, but as I am Sivan, as I am the owner of the music, they cant. There will be no idea at all.

I also suspect they have recorded me in some way while I was repairing my computers, after havng had a lot of problems, now they let me write online on a false connection, to make it look like if I am a liar.

I will assure all people, that I will put my idcards and passports online!!!! To show who I am. I also have insurance papers since a long time ago, I will put them online later.

I have understood that something bad is going on in my house locally, too, so I have made a daily diary as all can view here later. That will show I am following the same line every day, that I am not schitzofrenic (as I have been underlying accused of in facebook earlier, if it is still left...). I have hundreds of files saved from facebook data I can show up later.

I have collected a video yesterday, of my family, this christmas, the one with the long hair is Linette, the one in the sofa is Elin, and my mother Eva, 70 years old!


Have a good day my dear fans, Sivan is back!!
:-PPPPPPPP (To those hacking my accounts)
Love to the others
Sivan

Its hard to see googles announcements

People, today ALL is possible. When people trx to steal your songs, and yours property, they can call you sick, they can call you anything, just to finalize at the hospital, on science.
I stand up for every single little word, and soon, very soon we will reveal all this crap people are delivering.

I am not sick, so I can do without these annoucements. Logged on yesterday after having been offline for a long time, and what do I see???? Hahahahaha, I have to laugh, some people are making themselves money in writing shit in their blogs, if associating to them...lol

Well, as a public person, you must be able to take it.

I will REMIND all people reading this blog that I have been investigated by docs, telling I am healthy but MAY be in need of talks about the life I am living. There has been rumors that some kids are using voice detection on me, and sending the signal out on the net, so that it looks like if I am saying something else than I actually are doing. I am then happy that I have written down a fat fat diary, made by hand, following the same line every day, and how people, can it be possible if I am sick....?

My friends are educated all from lawyers to psycologists, and they say I am healthy, and of course I am. So now, ignore these announcements you see, and folks I have to tell you all something bad bad bad. Some people are using my ID, most probable. And have done so for a long time. Last time I got a STIM paper (music rights organisation, was in April 2011....I have contacted them today.

People are imitating my life and trying to be me, the last is that one of my daughters are having a sport to imitate all I am doing. :-)

I am 46 years old, I still have 3 daughters, Sandra, Linette and Elin. I will soon be back with pictures.....happy morning!!!!
Sivan

lördag 21 januari 2012

To P.A Original from onefm.se

Hi there
As you probably know since before, I have been in love with you for a long long time (2010), there is some issues though, people does not seem to like it, mainly on facebook. Dont ask me why. I am sad for that thing. I have my suspections where the "wrongs" is, but of course I dont take it here, I cant call you of some reasons, I have no chance to contact you at all. You know where I am, I am still living in my 3-room apartment just exactly before the big city church. I am sure you will find me, its not hard for a journalist.

Keep smiling, I would like to talk to you too, I am sure you understand why. Anytime.

This is the only way I can contact you, dont know when I go online again, right now I dont use facebook....

Feel good,
Hugs
Sivan

Mr Smile (original from 2010)...

Just sitting and watching the Gott Nytt Ar Video again to analyse myself a bit, I hope you have seen it too....? You are mentioned.


I would like to ask you something, I am sorry but I can not dance with you at Folkets Hus, I want to keep the history intact, (LOL) so no changes. But ahead, I can dance again, in some other place in town. Would like to talk to you again.

It is my wish that you are having a great time, I never forget the dark hair, the smiling eyes and your great way of dancing. The first man I have seen smiling with his eyes.

As usual I have some issues in my private life, :-) but I am sure you would understand. Life is an adventure. Lets dance!

Ok, take care, I am not hard to find..write a letter! :-) Thats most safe these days :-)
/Sivan

To you Stefan

Recently talked to you in the phone, I hope you registered what I said ;-)

Thanks for the nice words, as always, love your way from me

Take an analyse of this video, ask yourself what I want to say with it. I pray it will be respected...

Be back to me tonight with your comments. I know you have seen it before
but watch it again, tell me if you see what I see....;-)

I am totally up to analysing myself, at the moment.....important ;-)



Smile dearest,
Sivan

Hajdihoo.....back in space for a while

Hi there all

Back in space for a while. Have had some issues to come online, and privacy issues. But, as all have known I have been online very often during the years...there are some issues I have to solve now. But all knows me. And the way you write in, the way you sing in, the way you act in cant be imitated. From September to December 2011, I lost 16 kg weight so it feels kinda strange to see some announcements here about loosing weight!!! Hahaha.

Just I invite all, if the movies are still left
youtube.com/sivanto

Cant give that much info right now, but,
I will be back on track again, for sure...
During this time I wish all people good luck with their lifes
and a good day.....
Keep smiling... Pray often. :-)
Sivan

tisdag 3 januari 2012

Folks, life makes me a bit in a wonder, when I see that some people in this world are missing all their chances to things in life. They are making a choice based upon wrong grounds, instead of thinking through things like an adult. If you never try, you can never win, you can never know what another human thinks about you until you have asked....no matter in which age you are. You can never ever win anything within another person by making bad things to her/him. It frustrates me to see that some in this world are loosing their minds and making wrong desicions when all they could have done was to win easy....if they only had asked and been present...

When it comes to jobs, it is different. Some jobs demands power..then you change from your ordinary life at home.
It also confuses me to see that all I am writing about is changing all the time, suddenly right after I have written it online, seems like somene wants it to look like if I am a liar. If I write that a thing is broken on the net, it suddenly works after 10 min....its so strange.

I am passing through some strange days right now, I am analyzing myself, I am talking about the same things over and over again, to check myself, and to report to the mass....that I am not scitzofrenic.

Ohhh only God should know that I believe in HIM, and no one else until I see the fact of what is present. I made some smaller bible studies yesterday....hmm. My blog has suddenly been copied...hehe :-) sivansverige.logspot.com ;-)

Ohhh folks, I am 47 this year...when will I find love? If I only could know if it is the person I loved that much making me wrong or a surrogate using his name, maybe I would not make the desicions I have done now....just wanted to say it.

So until then, when I know, I am hurted, and I have decided to change path and try with someone else. I am hurted but so much stronger than last year.

I am just sighing...sigh sigh...and saying that if someone really wants you, he comes to you IRL and presents oneself without any doubts.

Someone out there loves me, but he is to shy to come and tell me. How does it feel?

Mr Smile (Old orginal Mr Dance)...still thinking about you, view my videoblogs at youtube.com/sivanto

Jawn....nighty folks and YOU....BELIEVE IN YOURSELF I dont bite..
Sivan

söndag 1 januari 2012

Dagen D, ett nytt år (svenska - in swedish first, english below)

Dagen D, nytt år och nya visioner. Man önskar och önskar att folk ska förstå, men de visar inte minsta förståelse alls. När man inte vet vad som väntar bakom dörren, kan man inte helt enkelt gå in i olika saker.....
Jag har försökt, verkligen, under större delen av 2010, att få dom alla att fatta, jag är inte sjuk i huvudet. Jag är för snäll och velig, många gånger gör jag saker som jag inte vill, för andra, för att få lite uppskattning, för att få det där "tack" och ett leende..., det är jag. Som pappa, exakt.

TOLKNINGAR
Istället för att tolka saker rätt, tolkar folk det som de själva ser, dom ser inte sanningen, dom ser inte att jag är frisk men att jag inte får det kärleksbehov jag har inom mig utsläppt. Jag är i behov av att ge, mera än att få, och jag kommer förmodligen dö invärtes framöver, med tiden, om jag inte får ge det jag har. DET är enda huvud felet.

BEHOV AV ATT GE
Jag vet inte varför jag har det här behovet så starkt, men det känns viktigt att få vara den jag ÄR, och inte den man vill göra om mig till. Jag kommer framöver att "hjälpa till" i den här kontrollen av mig genom att flera gånger varje dag, upprepa saker jag tycker. Jag garanterar att om inga förutsättningar har ändrats, kommer jag tycka samma sak, om och om igen.

Det är enkelt att från ex. myndigheters sida, se en sak, d v s kolla alla mina beteenden, och när jag ändrat åsikt om vissa saker, tycka att jag är sjuk sett "overall", men vad man glömt är....varför? Har man verkligen tagit reda på bakgrunderna, har man frågat mig...."Siv, varför ändrade du dig"? Nej, aldrig. Man har för enkelhetens skull tänkt att....javisst hon är sjuk, in med henne på psyket.
Tänk på det folk, ett tips, ta alltid reda på bakgrunderna till varför en person agerar på visst sätt, innan Ni antar att nån är sjuk. Om jag vore ex. scitzofren, skulle jag byta personlighet kanske flera gånger dagligen. Detta skulle synas i mitt beteende, genom att jag skiftar, d v s byter ideer mitt i en mening, eller kanske helt enkelt börjar snacka om nåt annat mitt i en mening som inte har någon innebörd kopplat till det jag snackat om. Ett exempel kan vara:
"Solen skiner idag, ska vi gå ut?", "och skivan spelade bra musik" i en och samma mening. Dessa två uttalanden hör inte ihop. Alltså kan personen vara scitzofren och har under denna tid bytt personlighet.

Jag kommer kämpa tills jag blöder, för att motbevisa att jag är sjuk i huvudet.
Jag har redan min analys klar, 3 läkare (2 Hälsocentralen-läkare som känt mig under många år) (varav 1 special psykologiutbildad) har under 2010 gjort en undersökning (avancerad), de har inte funnit att jag är sjuk.

En person som inte blir accepterad av sin omgivning på grund av att denne kanske satt sig upp emot en del genom åren, bör istället få klargjort för sig att man inte accepterar att bli behandlad på vise versa sätt, och istället visad hur man anser att man ska bli behandlad. Jag har alltid varit öppen, kreativ, otroligt social, gestikulativ, pratat högt, lite impulsiv varför jag på senare år provat ta det lite lugnare för att besluten inte alltid ska behöva ändras. Jag är av praktisk natur, med 3 barn har man inte haft så många val mer än att finna smarta snabba lösningar, och känner jag att en sak har blivit för snabbt utredd, eller bestämd, så ändrar jag detta snabbt för att jag inte vill missa möjligheter m m. Det kan vara det folk hakar sig på. Min överaktivitet har kanske ibland tolkats som att jag inte ´vet vad jag vill, eller som stress. Men jag gillar när det händer saker, jag vill ha nåt på gång för det mesta.

Efter 46 år, och trots fina höga betyg och goda vitsord man inte uppnått mera än att sluta på en sjukersättning, så blir man otålig, man vill bli erkänd, bekräftad, och omtyckt...även om man säger att "jag bryr mig inte", så gör man det innerst inne. Det gör alla.

VAD JAG SÖKER, OCH OM EN MAN
Folk, återigen....jag söker kärlek och en familj. Det är det huvudsakliga och oerhört viktigt i mitt liv, har det alltid varit. Att bli älskad och omtyckt. Jag hade en man, som jag litade på, som lovade mig världen, som sa att jag kunde lita på honom, som skulle gifta sig med mig. Han kände till vad jag behövde....han visste hur jag hade haft det tidigare. Jag var så lycklig, han var så fin och värd guld för mig, men jag kanske inte kunde agera i hans värld just då.. på grund av praktiska skäl, inom tidsramarna (som jag inte kände till¨alls, och inte fick information om heller) Allt detta känns så oerhört tråkigt, jag vet att vi skulle ha "ruled the world".

SLUTLIGEN
Låt mig vara den jag är, behandla mig såsom att jag var frisk (som alla andra) så jag kan sluta försvara mig hela tiden. Ingen, ingen agerar normalt under press och kontroll även om man klarar det galant psykiskt. Ingen agerar normalt med att hela tiden slå ifrån ett underläge, med "taggarna utåt" och känna att man måste "bevisa" att man är frisk. Sist men inte minst, att gråta över hur man blir orättvist behandlad, eller plötsligt avvisad av den man älskat under konstiga omständigheter, är normalt, och ingen depression. (Enligt en av mina psykologiutbildade bekanta) (Psykolog)

Och pssst...i ett jobb....agerar man annorlunda än vad man gör i det privata.
Jag är frisk. Acceptera det, acceptera mig, respektera mig, så respekterar jag Er andra.

Med en förhoppning om ett annat 2012.
Sivan

IN ENGLISH
D-Day, New Year and new visions. You wish and wish for people to understand, but they show not the slightest sympathy whatsoever. When you do not know what awaits behind the door, one can not simply go into the different things .....
I've tried, really, for most of 2010, to get them all to make, I'm not sick in the head. I'm too nice and indecisive, many times I do things I do not want, for others, to get some estimates, to get that "thank you" and a smile ... that's me. As my dad, exactly.

INTERPRETATIONS
Instead of interpreting things right, people interpret what they see, they see not the truth, they do not see that I am healthy but I do not get the love I need is within me released. I am in need to give, more than to get, and I will probably die inside to come, with time, if I can not give what I have. This is the only main fault.

MY NEED TO GIVE
I do not know why I have this need so strongly, but it feels important to be who I am, and not the one you want to do for me. I will come to "help" in this control of me by several times each day, repeating what I think. I guarantee that if no conditions have changed, I think the same thing, over and over again.
It is easy from ex. authorities, see one thing, that is, check out all of my behavior, and when I changed my mind about certain things, to think that I am ill seen "overall", but what they forget is .... why? Have you really found out the backgrounds, they have asked me ...." Siv, why did you change? " No, never. We have for simplicity supposed to .... "yes she is sick", in with her in mind.
Think about it people, a tip, you always know the background to why a person acts a certain way, before you assume that someone is sick. If I were like. scitzofrenic, I would switch personality perhaps several times a day. This would appear in my behavior, by my shifts, ie, changing ideas in the middle of a sentence, or maybe just start talking about something else in the middle of a sentence that has no meaning attached to what I'm talking about. An example would be:
"The sun is shining today, should we go?", "And the disc played great music" in the same sentence. These two statements do not go together. So the person may be scitzofren and during this time changed its personality.
I will fight till I bleed, to refuse that I am sick in the head.
I already finished my analysis, three doctors (two HC physician known me over many years) (including 1 spec. Psych trained) has in 2010 made a study (advanced), they have not found that I am ill.

A person will not be accepted by their environment because they may have set itself up against some over the years, should instead have made it clear to themselves that they do not accept to be treated on the vice versa way, and instead shown how to view that should be treated. I have always been open, creative, incredibly social, gestikulativ, talked loudly, a little impulsive why I, in recent years tried to take it a bit easier for the decisions do not always need to be changed. I am of a practical nature, alone with three children have not had so many choices more than finding clever quick fixes, and I feel that one thing has become too quickly investigated, and determined, so I change this quickly because I do not want to miss opportunities, etc. It may be that people hook on. My hyperactivity may have sometimes been interpreted as that I do not 'know what I want", or stress. But I like when things happen, I want to have something going on most of the time.
After 46 years, and despite excellent high grades and good scores can not be reached over to stop on a sickness benefit, you become impatient, they want to be recognized, confirmed, and popular ... even if you say "I do not care ", so do you do that, deep down. Everyone does.

WHAT I LOOKING FOR, AND ABOUT A MAN
People, again .... I'm looking for love and a family. It is the main and very important in my life, it's always been. To be loved and appreciated. I had a man who I trusted, who promised me the world, who said I could trust him, who would marry me. He knew what I needed .... he knew what I had had it before. I was so happy, he was so nice and worth gold to me, but maybe I could not act in his world at that time .. because of practical reasons, the time available (which I did not know to ° at all, and did not receive information about either) All this feels so incredibly boring, I know we would have 'Ruled the World ".

FINALLY
Let me be who I am, treat me like I was healthy (like everyone else) so I can stop defending myself all the time. No one, no one is acting normally under pressure and control even if you can do it splendidly mentally. No one is acting normal to always turn off an underdog, with "tags out" and feel that you have to "prove" that you are healthy. Last but not least, to weep over how one is treated unfairly, or suddenly rejected by the one you love in strange circumstances, is normal, and no depression. (According to one of my psych educated acquaintances) (Psychologist)
And Pssst ... in a job .... you act differently than they do in private.
I am healthy. Accept it, accept me, respect me, so I respect your others.
With the prospect of another 2012th
Sivan

gott nytt år :PPPPPP

Gott nytt år! MY FIGHT WITH FAT, I WON IT.....DID SHE?

One of the songs from last year.....ALL promises!!!!!!!!!! Imagine how I feel today,,,,,read the lyrics.

Sanningen inför 2012

Hi people....there are always people in this world trying to put you OUT opf things they have promised. Promised with their heart, their sould and their minds.....they simply cant admit that they are wrong. And actually I dont mind about all thesde investigations about if I am scitzofrenic or not. I know,


He, the one I l have loved for 2 years, told me in 2010 that he would love me all my life, all the time, travel with me all over the world, he played songs for me, which made myb heart melt, completely. He has been uintil yesterday, the one I have loved from the deep bottom of myb heart. ALL knows it, but no one admits it. Cowards.

I am NOT afraid of him , nor anyone else. I know what i can, I am a singer, and i can! In dare! My second darling Mr Smile did never get the chance last year, but I have decided this 2012, toi give him this chance to meet me again .....come one baby, I say.I love me, I love the world, and suddenly.....folks, I am going from here. Just wait, Italy is waiting for me and my voice, Fuck the Spain haunting people. What is Spain for me?mNothing.....and certainly my daughter 17, will NOT go anywhere to get famous by a man who is lecherous,´.

SAMLA POÄNG OCH KVITTERA UT PRESENTER